Zackaël’s Soaring Love

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Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. We currently have a tie between 4 myths. I’m still leaving the poll open in hopes of getting more votes! If you didn’t have a chance to vote, if you can take 5 minutes to pick one or two myths. This will help me chose the one to talk about, I would very much appreciate it! Please share the post if you can.

Today, I am revealing the painting chosen by my mother! As mentioned in Under Zackaël’s Wings post, I am excited to reveal the other painting created in honor of Zackaël. The artist, Vé Boisvert, once again produced a beautiful masterpiece with magnificent colours. The title “L’envolée d’amour de Zackaël” translates to “Zackaël’s Soaring Love”.

The Reveal

Video taken in Hearst Ontario by my parents.

The red symbolizes the infinite love we have for Zackaël and the love he gave us. It also reminds us of his beautiful lips, as well as the red shirts he often wore. The blue unmistakably evokes the radiance of his beautiful sky-blue eyes. The tones of green are very present since it was his favorite colour. We also see bronze-caramel which reminds us of his silky blonde hair. Finally, the abundance of white reflects his softness and the perfection he represented. Additionally, the white represents the peace that Zackaël, from his heavenly kingdom, sends us on his angel wings.

Before and After

Before and After - Without and with artwork from Vé Boisvert
What a Difference!
Vé Boisvert - Zackaël
My mother Yvonne with the painting in her home

Inspiration

After my mother chose the title for the canvas, I was inspired to create a slideshow in honour of Zackaël. As you may already know, my little Zackaël loved to jump and be in the air. I knew he would be a gymnast and maybe even become an airplane pilot. He had a natural talent in trampoline and gymnastics.

The title caught my attention because I imagined my little Zackaël flying. Jumping to soar to the sky, with love and poise. Our little Zackaël shows us his superb somersaults, a beautiful spectacle. I’m sure he’s having fun in the clouds jumping high.

Celebration of his Life

After the accident, I promised Zackaël that I will always continue to talk about him and celebrate his life. This is why I encourage you to view the entire slideshow, even if you find it difficult.

The slideshow may bring you to tears and that’s okay. As such, you might want to find a quiet moment to watch it. It’s normal to take a little break too and pause it. Make sure to turn on the sound to hear the beautiful song.

It’s important that we keep talking about him. The fact that he left this world will always be sad and there’s nothing we can do to change that. However, what we can do is to continue to commemorate him, and to cherish all the beautiful moments we had with Zackaël. At the same time, you get to know him more… he so deserves to be known. Thank you for viewing it and getting to know him.

Slideshow in Honour of Zackaël


You liked the artwork and the slideshow? Please don’t hesitate to leave your comments, I appreciate them very much! I added a Facebook share button if you would like to share this post.

That’s it for now. Thank you so much for participating in last week’s poll and sharing your thoughts in the comments!

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23 Myths About Grief

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Before I start my post, I would like to thank the person who sent us flowers on February 27 for Zackael’s birthday. The card said “Bonne fête Zackaël!”. However, the card didn’t have a name (who gave us the bouquet). So if it wasn’t supposed to be anonymous, please write us and say “It’s from me!”.

l–

Earlier this week, I read a comment on social media which revealed some ignorance in regards to grief. I am not only blaming the person who wrote the insensitive comment, as they probably had good intentions for the griever who is someone they know. Addressed to a grieving person, the comment was something like : “You should stop reading such quotes, they don’t help.” However, the quote the bereaved had shared was in fact inspirational and contained a very positive message.

Death and Grief Education

These kinds of remarks can be hurtful. Along with other comments that I’ve seen in the past, they attest to the lack of education we have about grieving. Unfortunately, bereavement and death are subjects that are rarely talked about. Yet, they are part of the natural cycle of life, and most people will experience grief at some point in their life. Not only that, we are often surrounded by bereaved people, and should therefore be able to support them in their journey.

In 2018, the Australian Medical Association Queensland proposed to introduce the topic of Bereavement and Death Education into the school curriculum. This is a topic that I am planning to talk about in a future post, about why this this type of education would be a good thing.

With respect to the aforementioned comment, I feel that if the person who made the comment was educated about grief, they wouldn’t have written such a message. In fact, the person would have known that:

  • Talking about our emotions and sharing thoughts help with mourning a loss
  • No one is in the same position as the bereaved, and therefore not in a position to judge
  • Each person grieves differently

The reality is that many people find it difficult to be around grief. In support groups, I often see the bereaved expressing disappointment at the level of support from their loved ones. Many of their relatives and friends avoid discussions about grief and the deceased, and some even keep their distance from the bereaved.

It’s sad, but true, that many people are uncomfortable with death, grief and emotion. Yet grief is a natural reaction to loss. It is certainly not the plague, nor a sign of weakness. Running away from mourning does not help ourselves or the bereaved in any way. We have to stop thinking that grief is bad. It is not because something is painful that we should avoid or ignore it, on the contrary.

Picture source : Pixabay

Myths about Grief

There are several myths surrounding grief, too many to include them all in a list. In my opinion, here are the top 23 common myths about grief. Since this list is long and I plan to cover these topics in the near future, I would love to hear your thoughts :

  • Which of the following myths surprise you the most?
  • Are there one or two that you would like me to discuss in a future post?

Based on the results of the poll below, I will write a post about the myths you select. My post will incorporate facts (and maybe even study results), my experience, and what I have learned over the past 16 months.

23 Common Myths about Grief

Myth 1

Grief is bad and we shouldn’t talk about it.

Myth 2

The bereaved who shares emotions, images, thoughts or photos are “stuck” in their grief. This sharing slows down the mourning process.

Myth 3

The best way to grieve is to avoid thinking about it too much. The bereaved should get busy by doing other things, such as going back to work.

Myth 4

The bereaved person who shares their emotions or photos of their loved one only thinks about that.

Myth 5

The best thing to say to a bereaved person is something heartwarming, positive, or optimistic. We must encourage them to think positively and find solutions to make them happier.

Myth 6

The first year is the most difficult. Mourning improves day by day, as time heals all wounds. There’s no real need to invest the time and effort required to work through the mourning.

Myth 7

A healthy-looking person who is functioning well and is back to work, feels good and is no longer grieving.

Myth 8

A bereaved person is surely well surrounded and supported.

Myth 9

I know how I would react if I was in mourning. I wouldn’t do what this bereaved person is doing.

Myth 10

It is best to avoid communicating with the bereaved after the loss, in order to give them time and space.

Myth 11

The goal of grief is to move on.

Myth 12

To feel better, the bereaved can simply think of their loved one or look at pictures of them.

Myth 13

Psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and grief experts all have grief training and therefore understand what the bereaved is going through.

Myth 14

Another person who has experienced a similar loss can certainly help the bereaved.

Myth 15

Everything happens for a reason.

Myth 16

A bereaved who talks a lot about their grief should go to therapy.

Myth 17

Most people are empathetic and compassionate.

Myth 18

Going to therapy and participating in a bereaved support group always helps.

Myth 19

It is preferable to avoid mentioning the name of the deceased because of the risk of upsetting the bereaved even more or the risk of bringing sadness to a present moment.

Myth 20

Children are always very resilient.

Myth 21

Young children do not understand death well, it is better not to talk about it.

Myth 22

Following their loss, the bereaved should avoid asking for help from others; they must stay strong.

Myth 23

All bereaved people go through 5 stages of mourning (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). Grieving has a linear trajectory.


POLL

Please participate if you can! It’s not too late!
(participate to view results 😊)

That’s it for now. Thank you so much for participating in the poll and sharing your thoughts in the comments!
My next post will be about the artwork’s reveal (by Vé Boisvert). Subscribe to the blog to not miss it!

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Under Zackaël’s Wings

Pour la version originale de cette publication (version française), cliquez ici.


Today was a very cold, but very sunny day. A perfect day to receive a beautiful creation. In fact, earlier this morning, I received a wonderful surprise by courier! In my post “20 Ways to Remember our Loved Ones“, I briefly mentioned that we had asked an artist to create a painting in honour of Zackaël.

Last fall, my mom mentioned that she would like to give me something special in honour of Zackaël. I immediately thought of the artist Vé Boisvert (Véro). My mother replied that she also loved Véro’s paintings. Since we’ve always been impressed by Véro’s work, we thought “why don’t we get each our own painting” in honour of Zackaël. I’ve always liked that Véro’s creations are semi-abstractions, as they allow our imagination to dictate what we want to perceive.

The paintings of Vé Boisvert

Before describing the artwork that I received today, I would like to explain the story behind it. For any custom order, in order to ensure maximum customer satisfaction, Véro first creates two canvases. The first canvas is usually the one that contains the colours requested (preferred) by the customer. For the second canvas, Véro brings another dynamic and generally uses a different technique. Once the two canvases are completed, she lets the client choose the one they prefer between the two.

Since my mother wanted me to be completely satisfied with her gift, we had the idea that Véro could paint my mother’s first. This way, if there was a little something extra that I would like for my canvas, it would be easier to identify after first seeing my mother’s.

My mom chose a 36 ”x 48” horizontal canvas for her living room. I decided on a 60 ”x 48” vertical canvas for my living room.

The two canvases

As described above, Véro created two canvases for my mother to give her the option to choose between two. Once my mom’s painting is completed, Véro will work on mine.

On February 11, my mom and I received photos (from Véro) of the two 36 ”x 48” paintings, from which my mother had to pick her favorite. I immediately loved both canvases. They each have their own personality and differ in their colours and techniques; the first was created by brushstrokes, while the second by spatula strokes. Obviously, the green colour and the personality of Zackaël are reflected in both.

My mom and I both agreed that the first one would go well with her décor and was a good representation of Zackaël. The second one would therefore be sold externally.

However, the more I looked at the second one, the more I fell in love with it. I think it was the colours that really stood out to me. It was then that I decided to buy the second one, which was not at all planned! When I called Véro to tell her, she had already put it up for sale online as soon as she knew my mom had chosen the first one. But I couldn’t let it go!

I thought about my own situation and realized that I didn’t have enough art in my house. The canvas would be perfect for my dining room which always had empty walls!

Why I decided to buy the second painting

First, I love the variety of shades of green, as well as white, colours that represent Zackaël. White is the colour of purity and of an angel, my beautiful Zackaël. The iridescent mauve appealed to me greatly because it reminded me of Adélie. In fact, over the past year I have often posted about Zackaël and Adélie, and I regularly put on a little purple heart to represent Adélie 💜. I also often use a blue heart to symbolize Maxandre 💙, a recurring colour in the canvas. Finally, the bronze and silver bring a beautiful shimmering glow. These two colours enrich the canvas even more and they make me think of metallic armors that Carl and I must have to overcome such an ordeal.

Example of Emoticon Hearts I Would Use

The reveal

When I unwrapped it this morning
Close-up
The reveal to the kids

The title of the canvas

Thus, I came to realize that the canvas represented our little family perfectly. The four of us are cradled in Zackaël’s wings, his beautiful angelic wings. This is why I titled the artwork “Zackaël nous berce dans ses ailes” which in French, sounds beautiful as “Zackaël” and “ailes” rhyme and is gentle-sounding. However, the translation doesn’t sound as well “Zackaël rocks us in his wings”. It was important for me to include “us” in the title, because we’re all in it (us five), and Zackaël rocks us with him.

“Zackaël’s wings illuminate your heart forever. Powerful, luminous and sparkling, his wings gently rock you ”.

Vé Boisvert, artist

More to come

Later this week, my mother will receive her canvas. Since she lives in Hearst, delivery takes a little longer. I know she can’t wait to receive it. Véro is currently creating my future 60 ”x 48” vertical canvas, for which I will also be able to chose between two options. This artwork that will measure almost double the other and will be installed above our fireplace, in the center of our house. I will be happy to write a post about my mother’s canvas and the one the Véro will create for my living room!

That’s it for now! I hope you enjoyed the reveal and that you’re looking forward for the other art reveals!

Please share your thoughts in the comments below. I appreciate them so much and your private messages!

If you would like to receive my next post, you can click “Follow by email”.
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The Day Zackaël was Born

Pour la version française, cliquez ici.


I would like to thank everyone who sent messages, left me comments or did a commemorative gesture in honour Zackaël. Thank you to everyone who participated in the survey, the results are in! As this past week has been dedicated to my sweet Zackaël, I am happy to share about the day he was born.

During the afternoon of Tuesday February 25, 2014, I began having contractions while we were at Canadian Tire. I was 38.5 weeks pregnant and I was ready. I had been on preventive leave from work since Christmas. Having had Maxandre prematurely for no apparent reason, we wanted to prevent another premature baby. In the end, Zackaël was my only baby who was not premature. Maxandre was born at 33 weeks and Adélie at 34.5 weeks.

Here are some pregnant photos.

Obviously, that was my biggest belly, being my only one to term! By the late afternoon, my contractions started to get more frequent. Below are pictures of the day my contractions started (February 25).

We called Malcolm, Carl’s brother, so he could come babysit. We then went to the hospital. However, after an hour or two, I was told to return home because my labour was not advanced enough. I told them that I had my first baby suddenly, but they advised me to go home.

So we returned home around 10:30 pm. I’d had contractions all night. At around 5:40 am, I woke Carl up and told him we need to go to the hospital. I’ll always remember Carl replying “Are you sure?”. Of course I’m sure! He didn’t seem too eager to take me to the hospital! It was nothing like in the movies where the husband is all panicked driving to the hospital like a maniac!

We arrived at Montfort Hospital at 6am sharp, just as the hospital Tim Horton’s was opening. In the triage room, my water broke and they took me to the delivery room. From there, things moved so quickly, they never had time to give me an epidural. Despite how fast it went, the delivery was still difficult. At 7:25 am, my beautiful Zackaël was born.

Here is an excerpt from the eulogy I gave at Zackaël’s funeral about the first time I saw Zackaël:

“I will always remember the first time I held Zackaël in my arms, right after he was born. His tiny body was resting against mine on my left side, and I admired his perfect angelic face. I thought to myself how beautiful and peaceful he was, of indescribable comfort. From that moment, my little Zackaël has brought nothing but love and happiness to our lives. “

Zackaël was a beautiful baby from birth. He had a perfectly round face, lots of hair and beautiful full lips. He weighed 6 pounds and 8 ounces, an ideal weight. Since he a full term baby, I was able to fully enjoy the beautiful moments in my arms without too much worry.

Later that day, Malcolm brought Maxandre to the hospital to meet his little brother.

Here is a photo of Zackaël leaving the hospital with us. 🥰

Zackaël, 1 day old

That’s it for now! I hope you enjoyed all the Zackaël posts over the last week!

Please share your thoughts in the comments below. I appreciate them so much and your private messages!

If you would like to receive my next post, you can click “Follow by email”.
Or you can send me a message and I will send you an invitation!