My sweet little angel

Pour la version française, cliquez ici.

Before I begin this week’s post, I would like to reveal the significant changes I made to the blog! Some of you might notice that the website looks different. The main reason is that I added a language switcher, rather than reading a long post with both languages. I had to install a plug-in and rework the website (I also improved the menu structure). So this is now officially a multilingual blog (yay!). Multilingual personal blogs are rare I think, so I’m happy to continue in both languages. After all, it’s good for the brain to practice two languages!

Please note that I write each post in French first, and then translate in English. As my first language is French, if you can read French, I suggest reading the posts in French as they are “better written” in my opinion. 🙂

All that to say, this change will bring a cleaner layout, and you as a reader can easily from English to French, and vice-versa. You will find the language switcher drop-down (EN-FR) at the top-right of the menu in green. In the main menu, you will also notice changes with the groupings of the pages.

Sorry to those of you who were trying to open the last email, it was an error that occurred during my redesign and it was the same post as last week (a duplicate). Thank you still for letting me know!

Another week with the kids at home, time flies! For everyone’s health, I sure hope that classroom-based school will start again soon. Keeping our fingers crossed. Yesterday, we received a message from school: once a week, the afternoon will be asynchronous, and without connectivity. The school says it is to help with the health and well-being of students and staff. It’s a good initiative!

I received some kind messages this week from Isabelle, someone I didn’t know. Isabelle told me that she and her husband Pascal often drive by the accident site on the 323 to get to their cottage. For those who haven’t read the post about the accident site, you can find it here.

Isabelle shared with me that she and her family were deeply moved by our story and they think of us and Zackaël a lot. Receiving this kind of message always touches me; it reminds us that Zackaël is always in our hearts, even for people who did not know him.

What touched me the most was when she told me that she and her husband often stopped to clear snow at the site. What a thoughtful gesture! Remember the definitions of empathy and compassion? Well, this gesture is a great testament to that. They are empathetic people because they are wholeheartedly with us, and saw that it was important for us to keep the monument and photo visible. They are also very compassionate because it is a helping gesture that no one has asked them to do. Isabelle and Pascal, you have a big heart, and I thank you very much for what you do!

Zackaël’s roadside memorial during the Holidays
Before Pascal et Isabelle remove the snow
Pascal removing the show
Almost cleared up – Zackaël’s monument on the 323

Pascal et Isabelle removing the snow
Zackaël’s monument
Many people stopped and added decorations during the Holidays

Zackaël’s roadside memorial at night

I would also like to thank everyone who has taken the time to stop at the monument, some of you even added a little something. Thank you Marielle & Raynald, and Tim & Amélie for the pictures. Since I’m not able to visit the monument because of its location, it means a lot when I receive new pictures. I’m able to see if little items were added, which always warms my heart.

As Zackaël favourite colour was green, don’t hesitate to add a little green something (like a green light or ribbon) if you’re ever on the 323 and decide to stop.

My aunt at Zackaël’s roadside memorial
My aunt and uncle Marielle & Raynald often take the time to stop

I would love to share about Zackaël more often and his photos on this blog, but it’s not easy. As some of you know, I am often caught in a battle of emotions.

For today, I’m going to share a poem I wrote last spring. The original language of the poem is French. I quickly did a translation to English. I have to admit that the English version isn’t very good as the flow and rhymes disappear in the translation. If you know French, please read the French version instead.

Ce n’était pas assez (It was not enough)
Click here for original version

Poem in honor of Zackaël
My lapin d’amour (my honey bunny),
the most beautiful human I have ever known,
in my heart forever

It was not enough
That we did everything to make you happy
They still took you from us
Without telling you goodbye

It was not enough
That you always made us smile
They still took away
The chance to see you grow up

It was not enough
That you were the most patient
They still took from us
All our future moments

It was not enough
That you were good to her
They still took away
Her big brother Zackaël

It was not enough
That you were the best brother
They still took you
From their little world

It was not enough
To be an model student
They still took you
From your little classmates

It was not enough
That you were a best friend
They still took you
From your friend Alexi

It was not enough
That you were the sweetest boy
They still took you
To be with them in heaven

It was not enough
That you were our little sunshine
They took you anyway
The cruelest separation

It was not enough
That you are my beautiful “lapin”
They took you anyway
An endless November day

It was not enough
That everyone loved you
They still took you
We’ll never see you again

It was not enough
To be my beloved son
They still took you
Why did nothing protect you?

It was not enough
That you had a heart bigger than your body
They still took you
I hope there’s life is after death

My beautiful Zackaël
My heavenly angel
My love is unconditional
I send you a sweet kiss
Don’t worry, you will never be forgotten

Maman xox

Zackaël Flintoff, August 2019

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30 responses to “My sweet little angel”

  1. Joane Brown Avatar
    Joane Brown

    Oh qu’il est beau votre Zackaël! On pense souvent à votre famille depuis l’accident. Mon fils Kaiden était camarade de classe avec Maxandre et je me souviens du jour où il nous a raconté les tristes nouvelles en revenant de l’école. Je viens de lire votre article dans le Banar – merci de partager votre histoire avec la communauté. Vous êtes très forte! Bon courage xox

    1. Brigitte Lehoux Avatar

      merci beaucoup Joane! Je suis contente de lire que vous avez vu l’article dans le Banar. Merci de lire le blogue. Maxandre prévoit ajouter un autre de ses vidéos bientôt!

  2. Michelle Coulombe Sigouin Avatar
    Michelle Coulombe Sigouin

    Bonsoir Brigitte mon ancienne élève,
    Je viens de découvrir ton blogue et ton parcours est remarquable et tellement touchant. C’est avec le coeur en miettes que j’ai lu et relu le poème adressé à ton petit Zackaël. Je pense souvent à toi et ta belle petite famille.

    1. Brigitte Lehoux Avatar

      Bonjour Mme Michelle! Merci de m’écrire et suivre mon blogue! Merci d’avoir lu le poème, ce n’était pas évident de l’écrire, mais en même temps, ça fait du bien de s’exprimer, et de partager tout l’amour que nous avons pour Zackaël. Au plaisir de se reparler!

  3. Katherine Avatar

    Je suis contente que les écoles sont finalement ouvertes. J`espère que Maxandre et Adélie ont passé une belle journée!

    Le poème est très bien écrit et j`ai presque pleuré. Merci de l`avoir partagé.

    1. Brigitte L Avatar

      merci Katherine! ça va mieux cette semaine, les petits sont contents de retrouver leurs amis! Merci pour ton commentaire!

  4. Rebecca Avatar

    Quel beau poème! Je l’ai lu en français et ça m’a fait pleuré. J’aime aussi l’histoire des personnes qui nettoie son mémorial au Québec.

    1. Brigitte L Avatar

      merci beaucoup Rebecca

  5. Kristy Avatar

    There are still many gems in this world! A true demonstration of empathy and compassion in one act, simple yet one that has a huge positive impact! 💜💚💚💜💚

    1. Brigitte L Avatar

      yes, I’m so lucky to have them

  6. Janelle Boulianne Avatar
    Janelle Boulianne

    Chère Brigitte,
    J’aime toujours te lire. Ce que tu écris est toujours émouvant et ça me fait toujours vivre toutes sortes d’émotions. Je te trouve tellement courageuse. J’aime toujours apprendre à connaître Zachaël à travers ce que tu écris. C’est tellement beau de voir la bonté des gens empathiques et compatissants qui savent comment faire une différence. Je pense à toi et à ta famille. XOXOXOXO

    1. Brigitte L Avatar

      Janelle, je te remercie de continuer à me lire, vous me donner la force de continuer. J’ai tellement à partager sur mon petit lapin d’amour, je vais continuer à parler de lui. J’espère que vous allez bien.

  7. Lise C Laflamme Avatar
    Lise C Laflamme

    Wow! Tout ce que tu partages en tellement touchant! Incroyable comment la générosité des gens est sans limite.

    1. Brigitte L Avatar

      oui effectivement! merci beaucoup!

  8. Laura Barron Avatar
    Laura Barron

    This is so very beautiful. The kindness and thoughtfulness of others towards your family is just wonderful. This post brought tears to my eyes. Thinking of you all always with love.

    1. Brigitte L Avatar

      Thank you Laura, I’m always amazed by the gestures of some people. Hope all is well with you guys

  9. Angela Avatar

    I admire your strength and courage. My heart goes out to you always. What a lovely monument and beautiful poem. I lost 2 cousins, they were brothers. One lost his battle to cancer at age 21 the other died in a car accident coming back from booking the annual memorial golf tournament in his brother’s memory a few years after his death. Both were in their early 20s at the time of their deaths. My aunt and her daughter (the youngest of the 3 children) are also strong women. you remind me of them. sending you hugs and Reiki Healing energy. – Angela

    1. Brigitte L Avatar

      thanks so much for sharing Angela and continuing to read my posts. How heartbreaking for your aunt and your cousin, I’m so sorry. Please feel free to share my blog with them, sometimes it helps to feel less alone. I will also speak about sibling loss at some point… and trauma. I’ve also started a new group for bereaved parents on Facebook, if ever your aunt is on Facebook, I can share the group. Take care

  10. Veronica Fyck Avatar
    Veronica Fyck

    The improvements you have made to your blog are excellent. Your desire to continue to improve the blog, indicates to me your great love for Zackael. The empathy and compassion strangers do for Zackael’s monument moved me to tears. Not only did Pascal and Isabelle “look” after Zackael’s monument, they sent you the video and pictures. You created this with your blog. Congratulations Brigitte and I am hopeful the blog continues to help you. It is helping others.

    1. Brigitte L Avatar

      Thanks so much Veronica. People continue to impress me. I know it’s not easy topics to talk about, but if others can feel less alone, that’s important. Thank you for continuing to read my posts. Take care

  11. Denver Avatar

    Wow the kindness of strangers to clean up Zackael’s monument and contact you like that brought me to tears. It was so nice to see all the decorations people dropped off too, to know that they are thinking of your little angel. Beautiful poem too Brigitte…I am still in tears. Xo

    1. Renee Avatar

      What a nice post Brigitte, so heart warming to know people like that are out there. Send love and hugs

      1. Brigitte L Avatar

        thank you Renée! Hope to see you guys soon, looking good as the Ottawa numbers are down!

    2. Brigitte L Avatar

      they are so thoughtful, I’m so grateful. I can also see his monument, which I haven’t seen in person yet. Thanks for your kind words Denver

  12. Elaine Shepherd Avatar
    Elaine Shepherd

    Il est adorable ton petit ange Brigitte. Que j’aurais aimé le connaître! Ton poème est très touchant…

    1. Brigitte L Avatar

      merci beaucoup Elaine

  13. Gisèle Trothier Avatar
    Gisèle Trothier

    Merci Brigitte pour ce beau poème. Tu as raison, Zackael ne sera jamais oublié. Je ne suis pas encore retourné sur la 323 depuis que le mémorial y est mais quand je passerai, soyez assurés que je prendrai le temps de m’arrêter.

    1. Adele Picknell Avatar
      Adele Picknell

      Allo Brigitte, je ne me souvenais pas d’avoir lu ton poème avant aujourd’hui, et je l’ai trouvé vraiment bon! Merci de l’avoir re-partagé.

      1. Brigitte L Avatar

        salut Adèle, merci! C’est la première fois que je le partage , merci de ton commentaire!

  14. Judy Avatar

    Wow…the kindness of people still amazes me. What a wonderful video, a sweet gentle voice saying Zackaels name. So nice for you to receive these beautiful updates on our little Zackaels monument.

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