Grief & Trauma

On this page, I share our personal experiences with grief and trauma. I also write articles on how to support someone who is grieving, is facing hardships or has suffered trauma. All my articles are based on personal experience and/or include references to research.

What to say to a grieving person and what not to say (to avoid) - To help the bereaved with concrete examples in their grief and do's and don'ts

What you Should Say to Someone who is Grieving

I include 15 examples of things that should not be said to a grieving person, with the reasons of why the expressions should be avoided. I share better alternatives the bereaved would prefer to hear, as well as tips on how to be more empathetic.

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child headstone monument at cemetery with impact diamond etching enfant pierre tombale

Choosing the Right Headstone for your Loved One

Choosing a headstone for a loved one is difficult, even more so when it’s your own child. I talk about our real-life experience with selecting a headstone and about a new technology (Impact Etching vs Laser Etching).

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Zackaël Flintoff sleeping - dort

November is here

I write about some dreams that I have as a grieving mother. I include photos of the new stickers and panels I had ordered in honour of Zackaël.

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grief-myths-mythes-deuil

23 Myths About Grief

I talk about some of the ignorance in regards to grief and provide a concrete example. I share the top 23 common myths about grief and ask for your thoughts about the myths (through a little poll!).

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20 Ways to Remember our Loved Ones

There are many creative and meaningful ways to keep the memory of loved ones alive. In this post, I share 20 commemorative gestures anyone can make with pictures!

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Zackaël Flintoff

My sweet little angel

I talk about 2 empathetic people who are wholeheartedly with us, by keeping the roadside monument and photo visible. In this post, I’m also sharing a poem that I wrote last spring.

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Differences between pity, sympathy, empathy and compassion with concrete examples

Are you more Empathetic or Compassionate?

In this post, I talk about the differences between sympathy, empathy and compassion, and their definitions with concrete examples. I share my perspective on how to be more empathetic and compassionate. For some people, they will be empathetic but not necessarily compassionate. Others still will show their support by being compassionate even if they are not necessarily empathetic.

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Me as a grieving mother with my head down with complicated grief - Moi comme maman endeuillée tête penchée dans mes bras

My Complicated Grief

In this post, I share my journey of my complicated grief and how it was for the few months after the accident. I explain what is complicated grief (definition) and how it is to be a grieving mother.

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Goodbye 2020

2020 represents the first year without our child. We have no memory with Zackaël in 2020. I share how my heart ached at Christmas and the little things I did to cope with my sorrow and honour my son.

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Zackaël Flintoff - École le Prélude 2019 Orléans (Photomania) - environ 1 mois avant son décès - Zackaël sourit un peu trop

Gone but never forgotten

It is important to keep talking about our children who died. Friends and relatives mistakenly believe that it is best to avoid mentioning the deceased child in the presence of the bereaved parent. The worst thing to do is ignore that they existed, and ignore their grief and loss.

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Broken Heart drawing from Bereaved Mother - Grieving Mother. Heart is cracked and bleeding

When Love and Sorrow Collide

I draw my broken heart, a heart of a grieving mother after child loss. I explain how Love and Sorrow Collide, how difficult it is to look at pictures and videos of my son.

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Zackaël monument route 323 Roadside Memorial de la route 323 accident

Zackaël’s Roadside Memorial on the 323

Carl talks about the first time he went to the accident site (accident with moose) on the 323 near Namur and Notre-Dame-de-la-paix. He and his friends installed the roadside memorial in honour of Zackaël.

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“These photos are only for the people who need them” Chrissy Teigen

You may remember that on October 1st, model Chrissy Teigen posted heartbreaking photos taken shortly after her miscarriage on Instagram, some with her baby, alongside her husband John Legend. While some people were supportive, these posts resulted in Chrissy being criticized and harassed online. On October 27, Chrissy spoke out in an open letter that…

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Blackburn Hamlet Hockey Association Stingers

Hockey and community support – Le soutien à travers le hockey

  English follows… Premièrement, j’aimerais vous remercier pour vos messages suite à ma publication précédente. Justement, parlant de cette publication, j’ai mentionné que je me suis souvent sentie seule suite à l’accident, malgré que j’étais entourée de gens remarquables. Il ne faut pas confondre ce commentaire de ma part en pensant que je n’appréciais pas…

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Zackaël Flintoff

The Year of Firsts Is Not Done

English follows… Comme vous l’avez peut-être lu sur ma page d’accueil, j’ai plusieurs objectifs avec ce blogue. Un de ces objectifs est d’aider et partager avec d’autres endeuillés ou d’autres gens qui passent des moments difficiles. J’aimerais qu’on s’aide à passer à travers nos pertes, des situations difficiles et/ou à se sentir moins seul. N’inquiétez-vous…

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Zackaël’s Honour Book (Mixbook)

Pour la version originale de cette publication (version française), cliquez ici. I can’t believe we got the books today of all days! They were supposed to arrive on Thursday. Maybe Zackaël made it that they arrived today. This honour book about Zackaël was ordered last Monday on Mixbook. The book displays 77 beautiful coloured pages…

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Vigil Zackaël Vigile

Zackaël’s vigil – Vigile en mémoire de Zackaël

English follows… La vigile en mémoire de Zackaël a eu lieu vendredi soir le 13 novembre 2020. Un énorme merci pour tous ceux et celles qui sont venus. C’était une soirée mémorable…. plus à venir à propos de cette soirée! À noter que nous continuerons d’allumer les chandelles de la petite présentation avec photo que…

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