5 Reasons to Remember our Loved Ones

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Before I begin, I would like to apologize to those of you who tried to open the emails with posts starting with “DAY 1” and “DAY 2”. I just began a course on grief and I thought I put the posts to “Private”. Oops! I’m also trying to figure out how to exclude them from the email notifications. Thank you for your patience!

February is Zackaël’s birthday month. We would have celebrated his 7th birthday on the 26th. Thus, for this week and the ones to come, I would like to share more about my beautiful Zackaël.

5 Reasons why it’s Important to Remember our Loved Ones

It is sometimes difficult to talk about a deceased person, especially a child. Throughout our grief journey, the more we can “tell the story” of the death itself and share our memories of the person who died, the more likely we will be to reconcile our grief.

Last November, we made several commemorative gestures in Zackaël’s honor. It’s important to continue commemorating his life throughout the year and the years to come. Here are a few reasons why :

  1. Suppressing emotions is bad for our health

    Talking about the deceased can provoke all kinds of emotions, some that we would like to avoid. On the other hand, we must remember that if these emotions exist, they must come out. So sometimes it’s better for them to come out today, rather than in a few months. Several studies have shown that suppressing emotions can have harmful effects on the human body.

“Suppressing your emotions, whether it’s anger, sadness, grief or frustration, can lead to physical stress on your body. The effect is the same, even if the core emotion differs. We know that it can affect blood pressure, memory and self-esteem. ”

Provisional Clinical Psychologist Victoria Tarratt.

2. Celebrating life allows us to heal

Continuing to talk about the deceased helps us in our grieving process.

“Grief experts agree that taking steps to appropriately remember loved ones is actually essential for healing. Individuals who keep the memory of loved ones alive almost always fare better emotionally than those who don’t.” source

3. Celebrating memories together

We must celebrate the life of the deceased by sharing the beautiful moments lived together. Imagine if tomorrow, an accident happens and you die suddenly? Yes, there will be funerals and other events in the near future. But would you like to be forgotten after 1 year? That we no longer talk about you? Time goes by, but the loss is always as big. Finally, nobody deserves to be forgotten.

Speaking and sharing our stories requires other people who are willing to listen to them. Celebrating the memories together will bring family and friends closer.

Zackaël Vigile Memorial
At the vigile

4. To support those who are grieving

As mentioned in #3 above, support from others is essential in commemorating a loved one. If a bereaved shares about their loved one, it’s important to listen and encourage them in their sharing. If pictures are shared and then no one comments, it’s disheartening because they will feel that other people don’t care about the deceased anymore.

The worst is to ignore that the deceased is no longer with us. If you want to support the family members who endured a great loss, be sure to include the deceased in the moments. This is a topic I will be covering on this blog at some point; the “how” to include the deceased.

5. His life is worth something

Zackaël is dead, he was only 5 ½ years old. Most people didn’t have a chance to get to know him. His life was taken from him altogether. His life, even if it was short, is worth something. I promise my Zackaël to always talk about him.

My next post will provide examples of commemorative gestures that anyone can make!

That’s it for now!
Please share your thoughts in the comments below. I appreciate them so much and your private messages!

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13 thoughts on “5 Reasons to Remember our Loved Ones

  1. Salut Brigitte. Sache que je lis tous tes posts…je ne suis pas nécessairement à jour mais fais mon possible. Merci de partager et t’expliquer aussi honnêtement ton deuil.

  2. Chère Brigitte,
    Tu écris avec tant d’honnêteté mais aussi avec beaucoup de respect et de tolérance. Continue à nous parler de cette façon. Et continue à nous parler de Zachaël. 💚

  3. I have Zack’s memory book, the last Chatelaine magazine I received from my dad and a book my mom loved between two beautiful book ends I inherited from my parents. All special memories for me of family that will never be forgotten and are thought of often.

  4. We have a picture of Zackael at home and I showed it to Will the other day and told him Zack’s name. He loves looking at videos and pictures of other children, and he gave a huge smile to Zackael’s beautiful face. He will always be remembered.

  5. Zack will never be forgotten. I love hearing and reading stories about him that you share with us. We have some pictures of Zack and the cousins up in our house. Oliver often points and asks everyone’s name and we make sure to tell him about who Zack was. Thomas often talks and asks about Zack too. We are so thankful to have the memory book of Zack to look back on too. 💚

  6. Merci Brigitte pour tes témoignages. Votre famille est toujours dans nos pensées. J’aime bien suivre ton blogue, tu expliques les faits et émotions avec tant d’aisance, merci 🙂

  7. I love that last photo with Adelie, such a good capture. I really miss Zack’s smile and laugh. Missing joint cousin birthday partys, and children running around screaming full of joy. 💚

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