You may remember that on October 1st, model Chrissy Teigen posted heartbreaking photos taken shortly after her miscarriage on Instagram, some with her baby, alongside her husband John Legend. While some people were supportive, these posts resulted in Chrissy being criticized and harassed online. On October 27, Chrissy spoke out in an open letter that she didn’t care if some people disliked the photos she published after the loss of her baby.
“I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
I agree 100% with Chrissy. People who hate photos don’t have to look at them. Here’s what I would like to say to them:
“If you happen to see the photo and it doesn’t interest you, just move on. How long would it take to skip the post, maybe one second? One second, that’s nothing … it won’t have an impact on you just because you dislike the picture. On the other hand, think about the benefits such a post could bring to others. To all those who had miscarriages and those who’ve lost their babies?”
Actress Kate Beckinsale has come to Chrissy’s defense by exposing herself to her miscarriage and collapsing inside, saying it can become the loneliest, most soul destroying period of time.
In one of my previous posts, I talked about virtual support groups offering the bereaved a chance to share without fear of being judged. Those groups are often private, in the sense that only the bereaved are accepted. Facebook or Instagram pages allow another dynamic; the option to share with other people. This includes the exchange of memories, a virtual tribute, the sharing of emotions, etc. Studies show that all of these types of exchanges can help reduce the pain we feel after losing a loved one. I can confirm it myself. The benefits are not necessarily for only the publisher, readers can also feel many of the benefits.
You might recall that in 2018, Melinda Karlsson (wife of hockey player Erik Karlsson) lost her baby (stillborn). On their Instagram post, other families were able to share their grief and experience, and offered their support to the Karlsson family. All of these people certainly felt less alone in their grief, and now had the opportunity to help another family.
However, as can sadly happen with any post, even during a tragedy where those concerned only deserve empathy, web monsters can surface. Here is what Sandydandy45 wrote in response to Melinda about the loss of her baby. “I feel bad for the baby he didn’t have a chance with Melinda popping pain killer medication everyday.” According to Karlsson, they were being harassed by the wife of teammate Mike Hoffman.
Karlsson’s response suggested that this was not the first such comment they were receiving. He quickly responded:
“How dare you. You have been making fake accounts and buying hacked ones for months to harass me and my wife but this is an all new low even for you. You are a disgusting person.”
It is high time we lifted the taboo on miscarriages, stillbirths and mourning. It is time to stop being ashamed of our difficulties. There is little benefit to keeping our emotions inside.
What about you? Do you prefer seeing posts of substance that show the real world issues, struggles, and challenges that people can relate to? Or do you prefer to see posts of people who only show off their good side, posts that are often exaggerated and even sometimes fake?
That’s it for now! Upcoming post will be about the roadside memorial.
Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
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